Good For Nothing Me!!!!

So what’s new? All kinds of BS!! I have never ever felt so alone in my life. Did I say that yet? this song explains how everyone makes me feel. I don’t just think of myself at ALL. I am the last person I think of!!! Believe it or don’t! People think I make things all about me or I’m to sensitive well news to you more like the opposite you just don’t know how to handle my illness and guess what neither do I!! So I’m a loser cause my Doctor’s told me I can’t work and to take time off from school since I can’t afford to apply to the nursing program I worked my ass off for and now I’m to sick to do!! Not only do I feel completely useless I’ve been called it many times as well as; an attention seeker, a drug seeker, lazy, careless, snappy, bitchy, etc…. let’s just make me feel worse because it’s working!

Now my neurologist here said he won’t see me until I have another MRI and a spinal tap well, that’s not gonna happen ever with this guy! they called me in the other day said there was a cancellation so I get there and they said oh we cancelled that didn’t you get the call. No they lied nobody called me and they refused me care as well and cancelled my other appointment which was at the end of January and never told me. So, I called Mass General and they are going to call me with my appointment this week so I am NOT going back to this ass up here!!

Let’s top it off with my sister and mine’s childhood friend we grew up with before we moved here died in his sleep the other night NOT DUE TO DRUGS just to clarify, he had a disease and they don’t know why or what happened. So we’re taking a trip tomorrow and staying over night to bury another friend!! I can’t even count how many people I have lost within the past 2 years, half of my family and friends basically. Let’s see what’s gonna happen next or who can call me  piece of sh** again!!! I do the best I can but it WILL NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH!!! What will is what I want to know? I feel completely alone and misjudged like I’m screaming in a crowded room and everyone CAN hear me but doesn’t even CARE enough to look up!

Sorry this post wasn’t so happy. Just would like a little appreciation instead of being told what a useless horrible person I am when I all I try o do is help everyone else!

One love ❤


2 thoughts on “Good For Nothing Me!!!!

  1. Empathy… people are bad at it. I’m sorry. 😦 Sometimes things have to get worse before they get better. But they WILL get better. 🙂


    1. Thanks Phil I appreciate your comment and your absolutely right!! I don’t want sympathy or pity empathy is the perfect word! Good advice I needed that 🙂
      One love ❤


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