People don’t realize how strong all, who live with MS really are, in our mind, heart, body and soul. We deal with indescribable pain and sensations, not being able to remember anything, going to sleep every night not knowing if we’ll be able to FEEL our legs in the morning, I’m sure you know, US who don’t have MS, but if you don’t have it you’ll never know. Being turned down by urgent care many times where they lied to me saying that they don’t do xrays even though your nurse just told me and I’ve had them here before, the Dr. in an empty ER doesn’t even examine me and says I’m sorry your in pain here’s some pain medication, not knowing I don’t want them because they won’t help I want the I.V. of steroids for 3-5 days. He tells me to call my Dr Monday. I call who is NOW my recent Neurologist and he REFUSED to see me on an emergency basis and says I don’t think it’s MS related without examining me. That’s just a couple horrible recent issues with the health-care system in New Hampshire.  I
got lucky and got a second opinion and now I have 4 amazing Neurologists, in different departments at MGH one of the best hospitals in the world. My MS neurologist travels the world all the time saving others. I had an MRI in the beginning of July and my next appointment was in October and she changed it until tomorrow and moved all her patient’s around because she wants to tell me in person about my MRI. I have so many neurologists because she believes I definitely have something else going on and I’m seeing a specialist in tissue and muscle diseases and nerve pain. I’m only 30 and I so many illnesses that either get worse over time or never go away. I had a breast lump removed at the age of 16, and A colonoscopy at age 19, and diagnosed with multiple sclerosis at age 30, and have had it all ready for 4 years, degenerative disc disease, fibro my algia, ADD, and more. I’ve never been very healthy unfortunately.

Some of the good people who live with someone may understand but, still you’ll never really know. I’m having a flare right now, caused by immense stress which was caused, from a loved one, which made lesions grow in my brain, a lot of us have been dumped by our spouses, family friends etc…. and still we fight every day with a smile anyway. We know it can always be worse and other’s never even think for a minute about the possibilities that one day this could happen to them, OR anything but, whose going to help them? Who would they go crawling back too? ? A true warrior shows all and never gives up their battle, a coward runs from what they don’t know and can’t see not once having to fight in a real battle, what happens when there’s nowhere left to run? What happens when the battle is with yourself?

So tomorrow I find out about what going on, and especially about my recent MRI which nobody will tell me anything yet. I am having surgery Wednesday to be sterilized because of many reasons one being I’m not healthy enough to carry any children because my body hates me. I am having a flare through all of this and will be recovering from surgery and A flare at the same time. If I’m not strong then call it what you want I call myself a warrior! We as a MS community, and my very supportive MS support group we all are warriors!!!

One Love,



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